Doubt

This was one of my favorite Sundays as a kid.   Now, I ask you, Who loves the Sunday after Easter?  Only weird kids who think they are going to be pastors one day, and write blogs about this stuff.  No, for real, I loved this Sunday.  And it was all 100% selfish.  See, I was always thrilled when Jesus called out Thomas and yet the indication is that I am blessed.  It’s probably because I am always super-critical of myself and words of encouragement are the essence of my love language.  So when Jesus rebuked Thomas and then said, “Blessed are you who have not seen and yet believe”, I would sit in church and think I was a good believer and disciple of Christ because I believed without seeing.  Then this thought occurred to me, Wow those disciples had Jesus walking by their side every day and they still doubted.  I have never seen Jesus, but, for the most part, I try to walk faithfully.

            Today as I reflect upon what this really means, I ask myself if I truly do believe without seeing?  Do you?  I guess in some ways we do, but are there any times we respond like Thomas did?  Sure, we don’t see Jesus in His human flesh, but do we see Him in other ways?  There are times when we ask God for something that we need right now!  There are even times when we, in the quiet of our hearts, put God to the test by demanding, If you show up now I will know you are real.  When life is rough we experience doubt.  Some of the lines I love in this John 20 text are at the end of the reading:  “Jesus did many other miraculous things in the presence of His disciples which are not recorded in this book.  But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.”

            This passage emphasizes two things.   First it helps us to acknowledge that Jesus performed many other miracles.  He did these things to help strengthen the faith of the believers, which is what miracles do.  The verse goes on to say they are written so that we will believe.  Because I focus on the law, I grasp that we need to make sure the Gospel is prominently heard.  I don’t want you to miss the blessing of believing.  Secondly, God has put His Spirit inside of you; and this, along with hearing His Word creates the belief we have today.

            Yet, the moments when we act like Thomas are evident when we are dependent upon God’s presence in the places where we demand it.  This is a heart check--no one can know your heart--only you, or an accountability partner.  When you ask God for things, no one can see what your heart is really saying.  It is challenging, and much easier to talk about obvious sin.  But unseen doubt that remains in our hearts is tough.  We realize that there are times when we are like Thomas and say, I need to see you now, I need to feel your hands, and your side.  Lord, I need to know this world is yours and that you hold my future in your hands.  Sometimes that indicates a truly genuine plea to our Abba, our Father, and sometimes it is because too many bad things are happening, and we just want to make sure God knows what He is doing.

            The wonderful gift of the Gospel is, that in spite of our sin, Jesus still comes to rescue us.  He still comes to stand in our midst.  Those disciples had all gone in many directions, but after the resurrection God revealed Himself to them.  He came to be in the midst of Peter who denied Him, and Thomas who doubted Him.  This is awesome because we can see the powerful Jesus coming into our lives, even if we have different motives.  We’ve seen Him arrive in the midst of our lives, and bless us when we don’t deserve blessing.  Easter continues with the power of the resurrection and Jesus’ restoration in our lives.  The Thomas moment is a heart check; but it is also a wonderful reminder of Jesus’ work in our lives, and the way the Gospel changes our lives.  Thomas, Peter, and all the disciples, who were also sinners, were restored because of the resurrection.  The celebration did not just end with one day, but went on for weeks.  We continue that celebration this week and honor the work Jesus accomplishes in our lives.  While we do believe in Jesus without seeing Him, we also thank Him for the blessings He gives each of us personally.  These blessings remind us of His victory and strengthen our belief.