For whatever reason, Mindy had her shirt on backwards for a
few months. I looked at her and said,
“Kris Kross will make you…” She had no clue what I was talking about. At that point, I realized a key thing in our
marriage: Mindy and I have some very opposite ways of thinking. I love music, and constantly am enjoying the
latest artist; curious to see where music will go next. But you don’t forget an artist who wears his
clothes backwards. Backwards always
stands out. Chris Kelly from Kris Kross
died this year. I am not sure that you
can call it backwards growth but he went from being famous at a young age to
dying of a drug overdose. It is odd to
me that someone who has the presumed American dream can move in that
direction. I am pretty sure we would
call this descent, not growth.
As a kid
wrestling with sin, I think I saw an end to it.
Sure, I knew the truth, but hopefully felt one day it would all be
better. I look at my life in the last
six years, and see growth in my drive to be a better husband, father, and
pastor. I watch and listen to how people
develop in growth, and I ask myself how I could improve. I look at the discipline of athletes, friends,
and many others to drive myself forward. Yet, as good as I see what God is doing, there
comes a point where I am faced with the same thing I faced as a kid. I am hoping that one day I can alleviate all
of my sinful nature. Many say that I am
constantly critical because I find myself critiquing all areas of my life. I read this key line in my commentary by
Gregory Lockwood, “Christian growth is, in contrast to all other growth, a
growth downward in ever-increasing recognition of our own sin, our own guilt,
our own death, our own condemnation.”
Let’s put
that in layman’s terms, and make it real. One day my son Jacob will look at me and say,
“Dad, why did you do this…?” He will point out one of my sins and ask me why I
did that. It is inevitable and
unavoidable. Trust me, I am not going to
quit trying to not make it a reality, but it will happen. No matter my hopes and dreams to avoid my
parents’ mistakes and be different, I will leave the markings of my sin in this
life, the life of my kids, my wife and even in the churches I serve. Before we
focus on the sadness of this, the hope in this realization is the growth in
clinging to the cross.
It is here that
we find that Jesus is the one who makes change happen in our lives. And we look different because of the work
that He and the Holy Spirit do by guiding us forward. That is the fun part. But it’s important to realize that we are
going to see our sin, but there is an end to that realization which is called
Heaven. In eternity with Jesus we will
no longer look at that sin. This weekend we will dive into the pieces Paul
shares with the people of Corinth. It
blends into the Gospel reading of how the Pharisees were blinded by their
belief that they could move their good works forward on their own. Backwards Growth may sound funny at first, but
it only brings us closer to understanding the intense need to have Jesus in our
lives.
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