Monday, January 31, 2011
As a kid I hated not having a gaming system. Most of my friends had Nintendos. I even remember one sad story of going over to a friend's house who wanted to play outside. I just wanted to play Nintendo with him. His dad took me down to set-up the Nintendo, while he played outside without me. I remember the ever condemning question, "Son, do you have a Nintendo at home?" I of course had to answer no, and there it was utter humiliation, but I was a kid so I played Nintendo.
One of the games I hated was Castelvania. I think I was trained to hate things like that. I was taught to fear the scary castles that might have some devil hide inside of it. Of recent I have done a lot of thinking about our Castlevania problem.
It was once said that we are a castle culture. We go and hide in our castles and don't answer the door. This was made more clear on Saturday. Mindy left to take Jacob on a play date, and Gavin fell asleep, I was thrilled, that meant I could take a nap of my own. I never sleep well after having kids. I am always listening for them. Gavin was resting but occasionally I would pop up to put his pacifier back in. Finally, he rested and I fell to sleep and was dreaming. I heard a huge pounding in my dream. I rushed from our bedroom to answer the door, and find my wife there. Yes, I looked super suspicious like I was trying to hide something. She was like, "What are you doing?" "Nothing," I said, "I just fell asleep." But this made me realize how much the Castle thing is true.
I have been thinking about this now for several weeks, and also how this blog is neglected. See I can't even answer my own door without fear of who is there. Our cultural has become one of living in castles. This is the biggest fear of social media. We hide in our castles. I spent hours watching the pro-bowl and several other shows tonight. Sure I was working on things like getting Gavin's new set of clothes out, but I hid in my castle. I was with my boys, but it just seems odd to me how we hide.
I think it goes further, we become so afraid of what they will see, when they come knocking at the door. Some of this is natural because we are sinners. We at times become a culture afraid of the things people see. Tonight in my constant desire to keep up with cultural and check out what kids are seeing, I watched a show. This show claims this is based upon what really happens in teenage lives today. Let me tell you if that is what really is happening, I have a lot more work to do. Shows claim to have this vulnerability but what about us? There is something about how vulnerability can free us from this.
You might be saying, "but Will look at how much we say on social media...we are vulnerable." Yeah, but sometimes we do those things for shock factor, like the show I watched. Trust me I get it, we don't want everyone to see what is in our head, because they would see the war. The war that would show the temptations we face and how the devil plays on them. We fear that if someone were to see that no one would like us. I hate using absolutes, but I think we all feel that.
But the problem with the Castle thing, is we have more time for the inner war to wage. Castlevania was a good guy trying to beat the castle. We fight a war that Jesus has won, but the devil just wants to convince us to part from the winner. The devil wants us to believe the war is not over. I know we still have to live in this world, but others remind me that we have won. Some of my friends said they actually grow spiritually themselves when teaching God's word. At first I disagreed with that. Seemed like a cop because their job was to preach, but today it made sense.
The devil was waging his normal war in my head. You know beating me up for all the ways I got things wrong and things I didn't do yesterday, this morning, and so on. This goes on in my castle all the time. I got in front of youth to teach the Lord's Supper thinking I don't belong up here. Anyway, I shared about Jesus' victory for us, and felt like I was speaking out loud what God had been trying to tell me all day. Really He tries to tell me this most days. And His was using me to minister to myself. All because I started to talk about about my castle. I shared a story of feeling awkward in middle school, and how God has molded my heart to share God's word with teenagers. I began to see how God had used all those castle wars to His glory. I walked away feeling redeemed and loved by my Savior.
But I went back to my castle and my thoughts at home. I have been working with a school district trying to get neighbors to interact. This would seem normal, but most of the times we are castle people. Today, I missed my neighbors. I thought we talk in the summer, and when I am grilling out, but because of snow mounds we don't talk right now. We only break from the Castle when it fits our season. I am not saying shout everything out, but I just think a few less wars in our head would be won by the devil, if we were consulting with a friend, or maybe just because we spoke it out loud, it would help us to see it better.
Thank you friends who listen to the war in my head, and don't judge me. Thank you for your love and support. I pray that God continues to provide His people to surround me, so I can work through my castle. I pray you build bigger doors on your castle today.
Whatever is in your Castle Jesus beat it!