You want me to manage what? My Family

“For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” 1 Timothy 3:5

Jacob had a buddy spend the night last Friday. We let them have some freedoms we wouldn’t normally give our children. Those two got to stay up and watch TV longer than the others. Then they were up at 2:30am talking, and again a few hours later playing video games. I was exhausted Saturday morning from dealing with the mayhem during the night. We had said that we would take the friend home at noon, but that still meant providing breakfast, so I drug my body to the kitchen to make waffles. Being a parent is never easy. There is always something else to handle, and a constant conviction on how to be a parent.

When we took the friend home, we could tell how tired Jacob was. We told him he was going to have to take a nap. He fought with us about it, but as lunch finished, he asked to head upstairs to lie down.  When I came upstairs and looked for him, he wasn’t in his bed. Instead I found him fast asleep in my bed. When Jacob woke up, we talked about what happened and why he was so tired. I said, “What lesson did you learn?” He said, “Don’t have friends spend the night!” I said, “That’s not it. What else?” He said, “Staying up is not good.” I said, “That’s not it, but you are getting closer.” He said, “I don’t know.” I said, “Sleep is important!”

I told Jacob the story of the first time I spent the night at a friend’s house and stayed up all night. I was probably in the fifth grade, and we had a skating party the next day. I didn’t get home until 4pm the next afternoon. When I got home I found the first room available at the top of the steps (which was my sister’s) and I fell sleep. I slept from 4pm to 7am the next day! Those lessons I learned as a kid help me be a father, but the important part is imparting the lessons to my kids.

Life is busy. With so many distractions, leading our households can be tough. That is why this passage is so powerful. Paul was not just talking to Timothy, or to the elders, but to so many of us as well. Our selfish side wants to check out after work. We feel the busyness of life and just want our homes to be a place to chill. But the truth is, so much is needed to lead a household.

A buddy of mine told me a story about a guy I think is a really great gift to ministry. He is a grandpa now. One day his son and grandchild were over, and the grandpa was on his iPad. The son finally looked at his dad and told him to get off his iPad while his grandson was there.  He had to remind his dad to take advantage of the opportunity to play with grandson and to build that relationship with him. Now, that may not be how your household works, but the point is simple—it can happen it anyone. Even a guy I respect in ministry is getting called out for being disengaged as a grandpa.

It is hard to lead our households. It is hard to be engaged as a parent, grandparent, or uncle/aunt. It shows us just how great our Father in heaven is, since He is willing to listen and engage with us at any minute. Jesus is very in tune with every need we have.

I love that Jacob fell asleep in my bed. It gives me a great picture of how we can be. Jacob got tired of managing in his own life. He didn’t even go to his bed, he went straight to my bed. It was his sweet surrender, like he was saying, “Dad, I am tired of managing my own life. Can I just lay in your bed for awhile.” Oh the number of times I have felt this as a human. I just need to lay in my Heavenly Father’s bed for awhile. I just need the weight of everything I thought I could manage to be taken away.

We hit close to home when we talk about managing family and being good stewards of it. It is something we do every day of our life, no matter the size or stage of our family. When we come home to God’s house, we see how God manages His family. It is a beautiful picture – the way He welcomes, loves and forgives. Today we reflect on the challenges in managing family, but also rejoice how God can rejuvenate and renovate us so that we are prepared to lead the family He has blessed us with.